F-CK the ocean!

Continuing the WTF Crab? day, I present to you, the biggest crab on earth, the coconut crab.

Here once again the ocean is proving how truly fucking EVIL it is, these bastards come up on land, and apparently like to climb trees. Apparently they then mimic a hanging batch of coconuts so they can lure unsuspecting blind coconut hunters to their doom. Because you’d have to BE FUCKING BLIND not to realize this is a BIGASS MAN EATING CRAB and not a coconut.

Anyway, enjoy the pictures, and the nightmares.

It’s called the hirsuta crab, it was recently discovered and is a new species.

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I try my best to warn people. Some people listen but many don’t.

Take for example the recent shark attack victim in Florida. Had he visited this site and listened to my sage advice, he’d have avoided his horrendous fate.

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See what happened to this penguin? You keep swimming in that damned ocean and something like this will happen to you too!

See even the mammals in the god-forsaken oceans are out to kill you.

I was so happy to find that some of you are listening and have indeed, been doing your best to FUCK the oceans of the world.

Keep it up! Keep throwing your trash in there so eventually we can win the war against all these ocean horrors that exist only to feed on us if we get in the water.

Here are some pictures of your successes at fucking the oceans, good job people!

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Now tell me that doesn’t look like a vagina. It’s a green sea slug

Now to make it even more hideous. This thing eats algae and then uses the algae’s own chloroplasts to gain the ability to synthesize sunlight just like a plant would! It can use nothing but photosynthesis to survive once it eats a little algae. But the real kicker, in order for this to work, the green sea vagina actually does a GENE TRANSFER to gain the additional skills required to do this synthesis.

I’m sorry but this sounds like the makings of one HELL of a horror movie. Yep that’s the ocean. Just one big horror show, only it’s real, and not make believe.

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Not sure what this is but I bet it’ll sting the shit out of you:

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I’ll summarize:
South Africa, people say a guy was eaten by a shark the size of a bus. Fuck the ocean.

If you want the long version, click for the source.

Pretty icky looking. Wonder what dangers it holds to man? I’m sure once they investigate it further they’ll find all sorts of ways this fish can kill humans.

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Now anytime I eat strawberries there will be that part of me that says “make sure it’s REALLY a strawberry” because the ocean loves to sneak up on you when you’re not suspecting it.

TAIPEI, Taiwan – A marine biologist says he has discovered a new crab species off the coast of southern Taiwan that looks like a strawberry with small white bumps on its red shell.

Ho said Tuesday his team found two female crabs of the new species last June off the coast of Kenting National Park, known for its rich marine life. The crabs died shortly thereafter, possibly because the water in the area was polluted by a cargo ship that ran aground.

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