F-CK the ocean!

F-theocean would like to celebrate BP as the corporation of the CENTURY.

Nowhere can you find a company that has taken our motto more truly to heart than BP, because they have well and truly FUCKED the ocean.

Congratz BP on being chosen FTO’s Corporation of the CENTURY (yes it has to be capitalized).

Sources: are you living in a cave?

So, what did some researchers find 20 miles out in the ocean? A freshwater Georgia alligator swimming with whales.

You should be asking yourself WHAT ARE THEY PLANNING? WHAT ARE THEY UP TO? And you should be frightened.

What are they planning? Is this the first step to a land invasion by sea monsters? I gotta tell you, this worries me.

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Continuing the WTF Crab? day, I present to you, the biggest crab on earth, the coconut crab.

Here once again the ocean is proving how truly fucking EVIL it is, these bastards come up on land, and apparently like to climb trees. Apparently they then mimic a hanging batch of coconuts so they can lure unsuspecting blind coconut hunters to their doom. Because you’d have to BE FUCKING BLIND not to realize this is a BIGASS MAN EATING CRAB and not a coconut.

Anyway, enjoy the pictures, and the nightmares.

It’s called the hirsuta crab, it was recently discovered and is a new species.

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I try my best to warn people. Some people listen but many don’t.

Take for example the recent shark attack victim in Florida. Had he visited this site and listened to my sage advice, he’d have avoided his horrendous fate.

Sources: MANY

See what happened to this penguin? You keep swimming in that damned ocean and something like this will happen to you too!

See even the mammals in the god-forsaken oceans are out to kill you.

I was so happy to find that some of you are listening and have indeed, been doing your best to FUCK the oceans of the world.

Keep it up! Keep throwing your trash in there so eventually we can win the war against all these ocean horrors that exist only to feed on us if we get in the water.

Here are some pictures of your successes at fucking the oceans, good job people!

one source of many

Now tell me that doesn’t look like a vagina. It’s a green sea slug

Now to make it even more hideous. This thing eats algae and then uses the algae’s own chloroplasts to gain the ability to synthesize sunlight just like a plant would! It can use nothing but photosynthesis to survive once it eats a little algae. But the real kicker, in order for this to work, the green sea vagina actually does a GENE TRANSFER to gain the additional skills required to do this synthesis.

I’m sorry but this sounds like the makings of one HELL of a horror movie. Yep that’s the ocean. Just one big horror show, only it’s real, and not make believe.

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Not sure what this is but I bet it’ll sting the shit out of you:

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I’ll summarize:
South Africa, people say a guy was eaten by a shark the size of a bus. Fuck the ocean.

If you want the long version, click for the source.